I have the perfect genes. I can sit on my ass and eat whatever I want, and never get heart disease or high blood pressure, let alone diabetes. Just not in my cards. NOPE.
WRONG.
Turns out that sitting on my ass and eating a cup full of Swedish Fish every night got me into this mess.
Missy you have to test yourself four times a day for five days and call us back with your results. OH FUCK. Really?
The first thing I said to my poor significant other was that this was just a prediction of what's to come. I'm going to live a life of venous ulcers, high blood pressure and renal failure. I won't see our daughter graduate because I'll be blind by then. Wah, Wah, Wah. Suck it up buttercup.
Bye-bye vagina. I'll rip to sheds giving birth to a 12 pound baby.
I should of known this was coming when I brought my lab-slip to the lab, and my diagnosis was, "Elderly Gravida." Yup, I'm too old to be having babies.
See ya later cookies, cakes and gummy bears. Hello injections of insulin and glucose tabs.
Fair-well to my great job. Hello I-Hop. That's where I'll have to work after I get my foot amputated.
I know I'm being dramatic, and this is short term, but these things are actually going through my head right now.
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